To John Tortorella, the Ranger Coaching Staff and All Ranger Players,

You can blame Callahan. You can blame Bickel. You can blame Biron. You can blame the end boards at the Pebble. You can score 120 point this season but if you don’t fix the powerplay, you won’t go far in the playoffs. You’ll have no one to blame but yourselves.

Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix the powerplay. Fix…

Someone kick the victrola, please.

Posted under New York Rangers

If anyone out there is having trouble sleeping tonight, all they need to do is watch a replay of the NHL All Star Fantasy Draft. After watching the first 15 minutes of this show, it should be lights out.

With the regular NHL draft show, fans are on the edge of their seats. Everyone wants to see who will pick whom and when. The real draft determines the future of hockey teams. The NHL All Star Draft is meaningless, just like the actual NHL All Star game. Most people only watch the skills competition anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s really nice to see NHL All Stars acknowledged for their talent. But, when the moronic fans of one team from the Canadian equivalent of Podunk (Ottawa) stuff the ballot box in favor of their own team, it’s a prescription for yawner.

Anyone who was remotely interested in hearing what Zdeno Chara and Joffrey Lupol were saying couldn’t because asshole Ottawa fans in the audience booed every time Lopul or any Maple Leaf came on the stage. Note to producers, do not give out tickets for this event to toolbag fans wearing the host team’s jerseys. (this applies to Ranger fans too)

How stupid is the NHL for making Daniel Alfredsson the captain of one team when they had the handsome and debonair Henrik Lundqvist at their disposal. Way to hide the light of King Henrik under a bushel basket. Now that Crosby is on the shelf, the NHL should be using Handsome Henke as its posterboy. Wait. I forget. Henrik isn’t North American.

Speaking of handsome and debonair,  it should be no surprise to anyone that Lundqvist, Girardi and Gaborik were the best dressed players at this event. With Henke and Sean Avery as fashion consultants, how could it not be thus. The Rangers made the rest of the All Star players look like they picked up their suits at a two for one clearance at a Sears Mens Store.

And what was with the lame Twitter segments with Igor Larianov’s daughter? If they needed to up their “blond” quotient, they should have let Tim Thomas and Phil Kessell speak on camera a little longer. They would probably sounded more intelligent then the host for the event, James Duffy. At least Ron Maclean and that old blowhard Don Cherry aren’t boring.

Did anyone even care that Ovechkin wasn’t there? I’ll bet as many people cared about that as cared that Tim Thomas didn’t go to the White House.

There’s an hour of my life I won’t get back. Note to self – Tivo this event next year and fast forward through it to avoid a case of narcolepsy.

Is it next Tuesday yet?

Posted under New York Rangers

After the Zebras let Boston get away with murder all game, they finally awarded the Rangers two power plays at the end of the third period.  The Rangers could not score. The Rangers did not score. They are completely clueless on the powerplay. It’s a disgrace.

Someone needs to sit James Dolan down and force him to watch today’s game. If Dolan thinks his hockey team is Stanley Cup bound, he better think again. During their final powerplay in regulation, the Rangers were lucky Boston didn’t score a shorthanded goal. Boston beat them to every puck. Hell, the Rangers handed the puck to the Bruins at center ice.

It took a five minute major penalty on Andrew Ference’s cheap boarding of Ryan McDonagh for the Rangers to finally score their first powerplay goal in eight games. They had a 4 on 3 man advantage for over three minutes before they finally scored with 3 seconds left. Richards, Callahan and Gaborik never gave up. Thank goodness Tuuka Rask did.

Everyone thought Ference got away with his cheap and dangerous hit on Jeff Halpern in the playoffs last season. Ference should get at least a 10 game suspension for this dirty, dangerous and disrespectful hit on Ryan McDonagh. He’s a disgraceful player. The refs let the Bruins get away with all manner of uncalled punitions during this game. It culminated in the Ference hit. Ultimately, Ference’s malfeasance is the official’s fault.

In the eyes of most NHL fans, Ference is a repeat offender. If the league genuinely wants the injuries and concussions to stop, they need to make an example of Ference NOW.  Shanahan should act swiftly in this situation. Ference should be suspended immediately, not pending a hearing.  He should not be allowed to play tomorrow. If the League really wants to remedy this problem, offenders should be suspended for as long as their victims remain sidelined. If that’s forever, too bad.

Wait. Isn’t Soupy Campbell’s son still playing for Boston? Let’s see if Shanahan whitewashes this heinous act by a now 2x offender. What’s it gonna be, Shanny? Time to spin the “Wheel of Shanny”?

Posted under New York Rangers

What in the wide, wide, world of sports is wrong with James Dolan? He’s the Kiss of Death. Way to put a target on your team’s back, Dufus. Dolan reminds me of Mel Brooks as GOV LePetomaine in Blazing Saddles. Glen Sather is Hedley Lamar and John Tortorella is Sheriff Bart/Waco Kid.

Is Dolan freakin’ kidding me? He doesn’t say a word about the Rangers  for years on end, preferring to hide in the haze of Glen Sather’s cigar smoke. Now this knucklehead chooses to brag about his hockey team? Seriously Jimbo? If anyone ever gave Jimmy Boy the benefit of the doubt about his cluelessness, those people need to take it back.

While the Rangers may be at the top of the mountain now, it’s only mid January. With half the season left, the Rangers have a long road to hoe to get to the playoffs, no less the Stanley Cup. The Rangers have 62 points and 38 games remaining. Judging by last season, 94/95 point will almost guaranteed the Rangers a playoff spot. If the Rangers win half of their remaining games they are in the playoffs. Hell, 16 wins will get them there.

As any hockey season wears on, players start to attrite. In addition to fatigue, injuries occur. The Rangers are a young team. Players like Mitchell and Hagelin have never played an 82 game season. The majority of the players have never gotten past the second round of the playoffs. If Dolan knew anything about hockey, he’d know that there are no guarantees, especially not in January. There’s no crying in hockey and no counting unhatched chickens.

Please God, keep Dolan away from the Rangers. Pray for the Knicks to start winning so he can jinx them. Before Jimmy pokes his head into another Ranger post game press conference, someone should slip him a roofie. Better yet, gag him with hockey tape. Then he won’t be able to speak or sing. Only the fat lady sings and right now, I have a cold.

Posted under New York Rangers

The Rangers hit the Leaves with everything but the kitchen sink tonight in Toronto. The Rangers led the Leaves in every aspect of the game, most especially hits. The Leaves did try to mount a comeback in the third period but could not solve Marty Biron. Was it something Marty said? He does yap a lot. Biron stood tall. He even got a point.

It was nice to see the Rangers execute their game plan in Toronto on Hockey Night in Canada. Toronto lost last night in Buffalo to the struggling Sabres. By pounding the snot out of the Leaves from the git go, the Rangers made the Leaves pay to touch the puck in the first period and pay on the scoreboard in the second.

Secondary scoring once again has proven invaluable tonight with goals from  Mike “I’m Channeling Gretzsky” Rupp and, at long last, last year’s phenom Brian Boyle.  The Rangers have no powerplay, so it’s a damn good thing they have secondary scoring.

Along with the absent powerplay, Marian Gaborik has been AWOL in the goal scoring department. Gaborik’s lack of production could be a function of other teams covering him too well. No Matter. If the role players get the job done, it covers for Gaborik until he gets his touch back. Marian seems to be playing rather tentatively of late. Hope Gabby’s not injured.

Speaking of injured, the only hit I wanted to see and didn’t was on that punk Dion Phaneuf . Old Sloppy Seconds needs to be knocked on his arrogant ass. I know the best revenge against Phaneuf and the Leaves was to shut them out.  But still, it would have been rich to see Phaneuf spitting out teeth before the buzzer. Aah, eff him.

Something the Hockey Rodent noticed was that the Rangers passing was much better this evening then it was on Thursday at MSG, (more fluid, crisper, more control). He’s convinced it is because the ice at the Garden sucks. The puck doesn’t lay flat, most especially on the 8th Avenue end where the Rangers shoot twice.

Paging Jack Durkin and Paul Curtis of the Garden Ice crew! What can be done to improve the ice? Too damn many events at the Garden. The ice was so much better before the Knicks games started up again. I know you guys do your best under bad conditions. Let’s hope the Garden renovations include improving the ice.

Lastly, I was cooking all day trying to catch up on some meal planning. Every time I got up to go into the kitchen during the game the Rangers scored. Guess I’ll have to do the same thing tomorrow night. With all the ice tilting that goes on in Montreal, the Rangers can use all the help they can get.

Posted under New York Rangers

The HockeyRodent has given all New York Ranger fans, all NHL fans, a chance to have a say and vote with their wallets. It used to be that a person would want to put their two cents in but, factoring in inflation, the amount in 2012 has become $2.00. It’s a small price to pay to send a message to Gary Bettman, Bill Daly, Colin Campbell, all the Governors and most importantly, all NHL officials, and let them know that they aren’t fooling anyone.

By donating to the Tortorella  Fund, you can let them know we are sick of drinking their KoolAide. Let them know you are as mad as hell and sick of the bullshit. The Winter Classic is the straw that broke the fanbase’s back. Vote and let them know that as fans, we want to watch unadulterated hockey where the league and it’s officials do not predetermine the outcome of games.

Vote to give the game back to the players and their fans. Without the fans Gary Bettman, the Owners and the Governors do not make money. Have one less beer at the game tonight. Vote!

Here in its entirety is the page from the Rodent’s website. I have his permission to post this. Stand Up for Torts. He stood up for all hockey fans. You must go to the website for the active tabs to vote.:

WWW.HOCKEYRODENT.COM

John Tortorella, We’ve Got Your Back Fund
	$2.00 US		Click this button to donate two dollars to the John Tortorella, We’ve Got Your Back fund. DetailsOur mission is to defray the $30,000 fine levied by The National Hockey League against the New York Rangers’ head coach for expressing comments deemed critical of the officiating by referees Ian Walsh and Dennis Larueduring Monday’s Winter Classic in Philadelphia.Before donating, please read the following carefully: PayPal is taking 36¢ of each donation. That’s 2.9% plus 30¢ I have no control over. John Tortorella is not an Internal Revenue Code 26 U.S.C. § 501(c) Charity. You may not deduct this donation from your income taxes Donation amount is fixed and modest because cash is not what’s important to someone who makes more than we do. Do not donate more than once. The number of donors is how we show solidarity and support. This is what’s important! Spread the word. I have zero overhead/admin costs. Torts will receive whatever PayPal doesn’t take I pledge 100% confidentiality of your personal information. Nobody gets your donation info without a court order. Nor will I use your info for any selfish purpose. I pledge full disclosure of the ultimate disposition of every penny as we figure out how to get the collection to Penn Plaza. If required by law, I will allow a bona fide accounting firm to audit my handling of the funds The PayPal account being used is completely isolated. There is no mixing of money, no slush fund. Not one penny will be lost.

Posted under New York Rangers

My thanks to Gary Bettman and his officials for turning NHL hockey into the ridiculous shit show of a Winter Classic we all witnessed this afternoon. Way to pander to your prospective “small markets” by dumbing down the game and throwing out the rule book.

I sat and watched this game with a friend who is an Islander fan. When I told him how I expected the game to go, he laughed at me. With about seven minutes left, I told him the officials would start calling bullshit penalties against the Rangers.

They would try everything to get the Flyers back in the game, maybe force an overtime, better yet a shoot out. After laughing, he proceeded to drop his jaw for the final six minutes the game.

He sat in disbelief and ultimately in anger as he watched the game unfold. I told him nothing surprised me anymore. I honestly thought nothing could surprise me anymore. I was wrong. Ryan Callahan got clothes lined by Timmonen and Ryan gets a holding the stick penalty.

I don’t care if the Rangers ever play in another Winter Classic. I won’t go to it. I won’t watch it. I will not buy any of the merchandise, HBO or any of the other bullshit. Once burned twice shy. Walsh, LaRue, Bettman, Campbell, NBC and the NHL can take the Winter Classic and shove it up their asses. They are all a disgrace to the game. The WWE has more integrity.

It’s  shame that the real fans of the game have had the joy of  the Winter Classic taken away by corruption that stinks from the top down. I am calling out to all NHL fans, all hockey fans, to boycott the Winter Classic in future. Show the NHL you won’t stand for them bastardizing the game in the name of ratings and money.

Posted under New York Rangers